Mobile Navigation

The Importance of Games and Learning How to Lose

Tamara Snooks
K1 Teacher | Head of Grade & Curriculum Coordinator, Infant School, UWCSEA Dover
19 May 2025

Playing board games as a family helps build strong relationships through providing quality time together. 

So what are the benefits of family game time and what vital skills do our children develop?

  1. Relationship building
    Developing connections with family that are free from distractions.
  2. Communication
    Verbal and non-verbal communication, negotiating, problems solving, enhancing vocabulary
  3. Teamwork
    Working towards a common goal
  4. Cognitive skills
    Memory, problem solving, concentration, decision making, critical thinking
  5. Social skills
    Patience, turn taking, compromise, negotiation, establishing and following a group plan, sharing and understanding rules
  6. Emotional intelligence
    Managing emotions, appropriate ways to handle winning and losing, empathy
  7. Academic skills
    Literacy, mathematics, developing foundational skills such as fine motor and hand eye coordination
  8. Healthy habits
    Active play beyond screen time, reduce stress, promoting fun and laughter

Many people can relate to the benefits of playing games together, but they can also relate to what happens when a child loses.

Play is foundational for bonding relationships and fostering tolerance. It’s where we learn to trust and where we learn about the rules of gameplay; it increases creativity and resilience.

– Isabel Behncke

 

Letting children lose is easier said than done!

Losing honestly and gracefully comes from a position of strength, gives us the opportunity to learn and creates a sense of inner peace. This is ideal, but we all know that this isn’t the scenario parents regularly see when young children are losing a game!

So how do we get to that point? How do we teach children the skills needed to win and lose gracefully? 

Play! And keep playing! It is easy to give up when games become a battle. Persist in finding the right games, the right scenario, the right time, as losing games is essential in teaching children how to accept defeat. Losing in a supportive environment assists in developing resilience, determination and contributes to a growth mindset, which enhances the skills needed to face obstacles in appropriate ways. 

When playing, model how to react to different situations. When parents model calm responses to difficult situations, it is a powerful way of encouraging children to imitate the appropriate reaction.

So what else can you do to teach your child the importance of losing gracefully?

  1. Play games regularly as a family, it takes practise.
  2. Chose short games that allow your child to win, lose and try again quickly.
  3. Chose games that involve luck so that everyone has an equal chance to win (you don’t have to choose when to win or lose).
  4. Validate emotions, ‘it’s ok to feel disappointed’, then model the reaction that could accompany that feeling.
  5. Consider what comments you want your child to use when winning or losing and model these.
  6. Teach and model good sportsmanship. If you lose, congratulate the winner. If you win, acknowledge effort and comment on it being an enjoyable game.
  7. Play team games and model how to interact between teams, it can make losing less personal.
  8. Reflect on a game and use it as a learning experience, strategise for next time.
  9. Allow calm time if big emotions present.
  10. Model saying positive comments to the other players throughout the game.
  11. Focus on growth mindset in all aspects of their development, highlight effort and improvement rather than winning or a final product.

All learning takes time. Be brave, make time to play games and learn together.

Play is the royal road to childhood happiness and adult brilliance.

– Joseph Chilton Pearce

 

References:

Klayman, Carly. 2025, The Benefits of Board Games, Manhattan Psychology Group https://manhattanpsychologygroup.com/MPG-blog/benefits-board-games/#:~:text=Board%20games%20help%20children%20learn,compromising%2C%20collaborating%20and%20being%20flexible. 

Why You Should Play Board Games with Your Family, 2024, Hammond Psychology and Associates, https://hammondpsychology.com/why-you-should-play-board-games-as-a-family/ 

Tominey, Shauna. 2020, Teaching children to lose gracefully so they can lose with dignity as adults, Oregon State University, https://synergies.oregonstate.edu/2020/creating-compassionate-kids/ 

Notbohm, Ellen. To Lose or Not to Lose? Board Game Strategies for Playing with Kids, Positive Parenting Solutions 2025, https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/to-lose-or-not-to-lose-board-game-strategies-for-playing-with-kids/